Thoughts Swimming in My Brain

About social media.

Keyboard, notebook & coffee. Photography inside the cafe.:

Lately, and by lately I mean increasingly over the past year and a half (ish) I have felt my disdain for almost all forms of social media growing into flat hatred.  And because I am an INFJ, when I “hate” something, I simply cut it out.  I see no point in continuing to use something which causes me stress and which I’m not really happy with.  I have enough to stress about already.

In particular, Facebook. I do not like Facebook.  And I think the longer I use Facebook the clearer the reasons for my dislike become.  Here’s some bullet points on why that is:

  1. People are fake.
    People consciously choose what they want the world to see and try to structure this idealized version of what they think people will like and what they wish their life was really like.  The irony is, if they don’t do this then
  2. They overshare.
    And this probably seems like a contradiction,  but this is how my little brain sees it.  People are either very selective and attempt to create all kinds of fronts, or they do literally share almost EVERYTHING, including arguments with people (awkward) and how many pies they’ve made that month (don’t care).  If they don’t do this, then they
  3. Simply share generic content.
    This is where I tend to fall.  I do not necessarily want my entire personal life online for others to view and critique.  I’m a very private person, and to be honest, I liked the internet much, much better when everyone was anonymous.  Does anyone else long for those days?  So, I often find myself sharing the latest recipe or a funny cat picture, but why do I need Facebook for that? I don’t.
  4. No one really seems to communicate.
    I cannot say that I have actually gained one single friend from Facebook.  Facebook itself has not really improved my relationship with anyone. The people I was friends with I am friends with still.  The acquaintances are acquaintances still.  The people I don’t really like but for some reason I have on there, well yeah, those relationships are the same too.
  5. You have ZERO privacy. NONE. NADA.
    Some people will think this is an over-reaction, but the more I learn about things like data mining as a business student, the more Facebook freaks me out.  There is no reason FB needs so much personal information about everyone which it stores forever, not to mention the platform application function, which means that even when Facebook is not spying on you, it is.

This also relates to point one: other people can see everything you do on Facebook.  Someone who used to be a friendly acquaintance has in past year become a non-friendly acquaintance.  She’s distant when I see her irl to the point of being nearly rude, and I cannot think of what I would have done to deserve the sudden change in treatment.  Except…we have different political views, and for a while I “liked” a certain presidential candidate’s stuff on FB.  Is that it? I have no idea. This is what I’ve come up with in my speculation.

6. It’s such a huge waste of time.
This depresses me.  Sometimes I’ll intend to just “check something real quick” on Facebook only to have it turn into about 70-80 minutes of nothing.  I can’t even recall what I did for all that time.  That freaks me out, too.  I wasn’t making my life better.  There’s not even any quality entertainment on FB.  It doesn’t make me feel happier, in fact it usually stresses me out because I can’t afford to waste 70 to 80 minutes in mindlessness.

 

There are so many better things I could be doing besides nothing on Facebook.  I could be actually conversing with another human being.  I could be tackling one of the many things I have on my mental to-do list.  I could photographing stuff, because that does make me happy and can be useful.  I never feel like time spent taking photographs is time wasted. I could be doing homework, because I always have that. I could be playing the Sims, which is at least fun.  I could even write a blog post in that time.

7. People play games with their “friends”
Like the co-worker who ignored the first friend request I sent her, then sent me one about six months later from her business account (you can look at my stuff, and it makes your business look better, but I can’t see your stuff?), then finally from her personal account, only to put me on “restricted” (one can tell).  Why bother? Seriously, if we’re just going to be co-workers and not friends, do not waste my damn time.  This further allows people to be “fake” by filtering what people see, making the whole thing this weird charade of popularity games.  Also, do not pretend to be my friend if you’re going to play games like that.  I like to know where I stand with people, and I have no patience for people who are engaged in constant impression management.

 

So, I want to cut Facebook out.  I want to get rid of it.  Some people treat Facebook as a necessary evil.  But is it truly?  I fail to see the necessity of it anymore.

The sad thing is, there are people that I only communicate with via Facebook.  I’ve actually asked people to email me or call me but they continue to insist on using Facebook, even when I have asked them not to.  I imagine that these people would be upset if I deleted my account, but also not upset enough to find another way to communicate with me.  And that also bothers me.  There’s also that fomo.  I don’t want to be totally “out of the loop” when it comes people’s lives…but, why should I let this social media platform passive-aggressively effect my happiness?  It’s weird.

And I’m not sure what to do about it.

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