If you haven’t read part one, I’d recommend reading it before this one, but it’s not essential.
This entry will talk about indecisiveness and ambiguity of opinion. Spoiler alert: they are different, and there’s nothing wrong with either.
I am going to write more specifically from my personal experience in this entry. I am at the age where many others around me seem to view me as in need of some personal advice to guide my life decisions, solicited or otherwise.
One thing which I have noticed to bother others, exceedingly, is when my personal life choices are not what they think they should be, or worse yet, I do not have a definite opinion formed one way or the other.
For example: to have or not have children. I am quite sure that I want a Master’s degree before I have children, but I am not sure if I want them at all. I do have two step-children already, who are close to being adults, and I am not sure if, and I am not sure if my spouse wishes, to begin the process again so we can have a biological child together.
However, my apparent childless state seems to confuse others. My best friend from middle school is pregnant with her third child. One of my best friends from high school has two. Almost everyone around me is having children, or dreaming of the day when they can, while I sit here peacefully sipping my tea in a nice little coffee shop, at the age of 2x, still trying to decide if I want one, some, or none. And for some reason, other people are bothered by this. The answer which I typically give, shortened, is “Maybe, but later.” Sometimes this is sufficient but not always. Which brings me to the main point of this blog:
Later is an acceptable answer. No is an acceptable answer. Yes is an acceptable answer. And yes, even “not right now” and “I’m not sure” are acceptable answers.
This applies to more than just the issue of whether or not to have children. It seems that after porn and cats, the internet is mostly comprised of opinions. All the opinions, every opinion, for everyone has one, and many are willing to share them, publicly. See fig. 1, “Totally official and accurate pie chart of the internet.”
Fig. 1, “Totally official and accurate pie chart of the internet.”
There is nothing wrong with with not knowing whether or not you want something. Likewise, and on a different topic, it is perfectly acceptable to be unsure of where exactly you stand on issue.
Too many times I have seen online arguments and debates where the apparent offender had done nothing other than have an ambiguous, undecided, or middle-of-the-road opinion on an issue. However, many are not satisfied with this and, whether it be a political opinion or life choice, want to know exactly where the other person stands so they know how to feel about the situation and that person. As a result of their conflicted state they get angry, and take it out on the person.
Personally, I feel sorry for those who can only be friends with others who think exactly like they do. I enjoy having friends with a variety of backgrounds and opinions because it keeps me humble, open-minded, enlightens me, and occasionally reminds me of why I do hold a particular belief.
There is nothing wrong either, with choosing a neutral stance on an issue until you have properly educated yourself. And the education process never ends, which is why it is acceptable to modify your beliefs. Every election cycle in America, we get to see numerous asshats on TV displaying their ignorance while the masses suck it up. Folks form opinions on candidates, and then tend to blindly defend every single choice or decision that candidate makes when really, one should be making that very important decision based on the issues, not the personalities.
And now, in the interest of preserving the accuracy of my pie chart, a cat:
What I hope you take away from this is that you should not feel guilty or bad for changing your mind, remaining neutral, or simply waiting to form an opinion on something. There is nothing wrong with any of that. To reiterate the point made in part one of this, when you stop growing, mentally, you cease in some degree to stop living. One should be open to new information and new opportunities. Growth allows you to become a better person. The person you want to be, a person you and others can be proud of. Maybe your life is not what you thought it would be, but you have all of your future ahead of you to learn, and do exciting things, some of which at least will be better and more exciting than you could have ever imagined.
Thanks to DreamJumbler, who inspired this two part blog post.